my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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