i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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