I swear she didn't look like that last week.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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