Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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