omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
