Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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