on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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