Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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