I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
