She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
