k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
