In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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