it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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