when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Randomize
