I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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