i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
im holly from the hills drunk
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
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we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize