Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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