tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
