Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
