thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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