I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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