Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
