We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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