He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
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is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
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