Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
