Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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