Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf