I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.