you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.