Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.

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(617): M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad. http://tfl.nu/r9d8

Replies (4) Good night (2918) Bad night (519)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening

(508): View more from Massachusetts

yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night

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(603): i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening (508): yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night http://tfl.nu/fae5

Replies (45) Good night (5436) Bad night (562)
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(224): View more from Illinois

U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.

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(224): U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here. http://tfl.nu/6777

Replies (57) Good night (770) Bad night (3838)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.

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(843): so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor. http://tfl.nu/1pvp

Replies (156) Good night (4834) Bad night (1116)
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(870): View more from Arkansas

What's the big deal? you guys fuck

(1-870): View more from Arkansas

3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times

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(870): What's the big deal? you guys fuck (1-870): 3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times http://tfl.nu/e13u

Replies (21) Good night (2819) Bad night (1583)
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(513): View more from Ohio

He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.

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(513): He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ. http://tfl.nu/zyza

Replies (13) Good night (3268) Bad night (954)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

Get your penis over here NOW. emergency

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(402): Get your penis over here NOW. emergency http://tfl.nu/eywx

Replies (10) Good night (2132) Bad night (511)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water

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(405): You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water http://tfl.nu/d1ur

Replies (5) Good night (1520) Bad night (582)
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(310): View more from California

I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.

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(310): I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated. http://tfl.nu/zxsm

Replies (6) Good night (1748) Bad night (411)
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(707): View more from California

You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."

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(707): You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever." http://tfl.nu/rkii

Replies (5) Good night (803) Bad night (484)
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(315): View more from New York

My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.

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(315): My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair. http://tfl.nu/70uu

Replies (6) Good night (656) Bad night (303)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick

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(615): omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick http://tfl.nu/o4c5

Replies (10) Good night (578) Bad night (478)
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(729): View more from

Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.

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(729): Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete. http://tfl.nu/1y7k

Replies (12) Good night (1424) Bad night (297)
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(406): View more from Montana

There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.

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(406): There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third. http://tfl.nu/skpd

Replies (19) Good night (434) Bad night (1274)
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(217): View more from Illinois

Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?

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(217): Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices? http://tfl.nu/ss4x

Replies (0) Good night (558) Bad night (141)

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