So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.