last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
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