I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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