Texts From Last Night

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  (240): View more from Maryland

  she was so not down for the gang bang

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  (240): she was so not down for the gang bang http://tfl.nu/snu1
  Replies (4) Good night (840) Bad night (1481)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Tonite tequila might call you

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Be prepared

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  (802): Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone (802): Tonite tequila might call you (802): Be prepared http://tfl.nu/qx1s
  Replies (7) Good night (2652) Bad night (641)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.

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  (773): before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident. http://tfl.nu/lgcs
  Replies (27) Good night (5218) Bad night (810)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.

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  (440): i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me. http://tfl.nu/ypbg
  Replies (38) Good night (662) Bad night (5676)
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  (415): View more from California

  I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny

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  (415): I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny http://tfl.nu/icdv
  Replies (41) Good night (1033) Bad night (4255)
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  (518): View more from New York

  for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt

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  (518): for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt http://tfl.nu/1w5z
  Replies (11) Good night (977) Bad night (3045)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.

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  (856): Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing. http://tfl.nu/px2y
  Replies (15) Good night (4300) Bad night (1102)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.

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  (217): The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool. http://tfl.nu/4pl2
  Replies (44) Good night (5345) Bad night (1412)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.

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  (614): My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet. http://tfl.nu/omff
  Replies (11) Good night (895) Bad night (1895)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.

  (972): View more from Texas

  Wine is not your friend.

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  (817): I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories. (972): Wine is not your friend. http://tfl.nu/ofhm
  Replies (7) Good night (729) Bad night (1498)
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  (+66): View more from Thailand

  i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked

  (1+66): View more from

  oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you

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  (+66): i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked (1+66): oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you http://tfl.nu/vprd
  Replies (1) Good night (1055) Bad night (355)
• Favorite

  (712): View more from Iowa

  I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.

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  (712): I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple. http://tfl.nu/5d4d
  Replies (1) Good night (937) Bad night (638)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.

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  (217): The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin. http://tfl.nu/o68d
  Replies (2) Good night (463) Bad night (350)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.

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  (317): Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South. http://tfl.nu/tqtt
  Replies (1) Good night (315) Bad night (539)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.

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  (352): This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is. http://tfl.nu/atl3
  Replies (1) Good night (1292) Bad night (338)

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