Texts From Last Night

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  (713): View more from Texas

  I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?

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  (713): I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit? http://tfl.nu/mgmc
  Replies (78) Good night (802) Bad night (3045)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had

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  (614): this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had http://tfl.nu/9bpx
  Replies (7) Good night (6122) Bad night (666)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out

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  (413): my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out http://tfl.nu/0mnv
  Replies (13) Good night (8804) Bad night (1173)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.

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  (678): Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce. http://tfl.nu/g2ub
  Replies (4) Good night (3390) Bad night (950)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.

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  (703): He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle. http://tfl.nu/3luk
  Replies (25) Good night (6332) Bad night (1984)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??

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  (717): at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea?? http://tfl.nu/j9re
  Replies (9) Good night (2305) Bad night (1133)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.

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  (843): I like to think of it as a lesbian feast. http://tfl.nu/2rcn
  Replies (10) Good night (1608) Bad night (783)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.

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  (519): I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI. http://tfl.nu/5z2o
  Replies (6) Good night (1969) Bad night (694)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  It's a journey

  (1-907): View more from Alaska

  And the destination is his penis?

  (907): View more from Alaska

  Precisely.

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  (907): It's a journey (1-907): And the destination is his penis? (907): Precisely. http://tfl.nu/ln5a
  Replies (2) Good night (1335) Bad night (428)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  I feel like you just railed me after that sext

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  (216): I feel like you just railed me after that sext http://tfl.nu/hgfe
  Replies (8) Good night (1327) Bad night (479)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me

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  (443): She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me http://tfl.nu/42gf
  Replies (3) Good night (1226) Bad night (620)
• Favorite

  (712): View more from Iowa

  You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.

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  (712): You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home. http://tfl.nu/2ggi
  Replies (2) Good night (960) Bad night (404)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.

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  (479): I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital. http://tfl.nu/6mwi
  Replies (1) Good night (725) Bad night (311)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.

  (313): View more from Michigan

  No promises

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  (248): Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year. (313): No promises http://tfl.nu/55qj
  Replies (2) Good night (657) Bad night (388)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.

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  (765): I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it. http://tfl.nu/bmis
  Replies (4) Good night (614) Bad night (354)

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