Texts From Last Night

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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.

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  (603): I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight. http://tfl.nu/a6u7
  Replies (17) Good night (2777) Bad night (570)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.

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  (608): You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied. http://tfl.nu/sqjw
  Replies (10) Good night (4255) Bad night (647)
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  (323): View more from California

  Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.

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  (323): Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering. http://tfl.nu/bd5j
  Replies (31) Good night (796) Bad night (3662)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up

  (1-502): View more from Kentucky

  basic color theory

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  (502): apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up (1-502): basic color theory http://tfl.nu/ff46
  Replies (14) Good night (1120) Bad night (3446)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man

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  (207): Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man http://tfl.nu/9o60
  Replies (43) Good night (6395) Bad night (997)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.

  (352): View more from Florida

  I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.

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  (970): The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency. (352): I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial. http://tfl.nu/wg41
  Replies (28) Good night (7337) Bad night (774)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.

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  (504): Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind. http://tfl.nu/yydb
  Replies (23) Good night (4966) Bad night (1861)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me

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  (215): I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me http://tfl.nu/08l6
  Replies (16) Good night (1257) Bad night (3551)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.

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  (401): She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough. http://tfl.nu/js6s
  Replies (19) Good night (5834) Bad night (1231)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.

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  (615): When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick. http://tfl.nu/ip3w
  Replies (4) Good night (2310) Bad night (776)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"

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  (832): You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you" http://tfl.nu/nnn7
  Replies (1) Good night (2417) Bad night (652)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.

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  (519): I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI. http://tfl.nu/5z2o
  Replies (6) Good night (1908) Bad night (631)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird

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  (908): She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird http://tfl.nu/j88i
  Replies (3) Good night (1821) Bad night (621)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud

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  (216): Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud http://tfl.nu/kyzh
  Replies (3) Good night (1367) Bad night (376)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?

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  (870): I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more? http://tfl.nu/o5o8
  Replies (3) Good night (524) Bad night (210)

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