I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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