Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
