You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
