i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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