sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
