Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
