"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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