So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Randomize
