So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
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