Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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