The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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