I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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