In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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