i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
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