So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
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We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
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You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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