I feel great
I just peed on a car
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
