Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
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