i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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