I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
