Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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