my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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