Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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