i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize