when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize