So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
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