It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
