All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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