So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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