are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Randomize
