she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
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