Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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