Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
