I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
