Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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